Post-It
by stupidsexymustang
Summary: Roy and Riza let off some steam in the office, but there's a surprise waiting for them. Please pay attention to the rating! Now with more Havolina!
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: This was written in response to a post on Tumblr...I can't really say what the post was without spoiling the story, so message me if you would like a link. Shout outs to angel-with-a-pipette/Alja and tanaka-saeko for the original idea. Enjoy the smut. Enjoy the ridiculous. I own nothing.**_

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Roy lifted Riza up, her legs wrapping around him as her backside hit the top of his desk. It had been a long, horrible day, both of them having stayed at the office late in order to fix some upper bureaucrat's mess. Roy remembered he had looked over at her, she was so beautiful with pieces of her hair falling out of her clip as she focused on the work and then their eyes met and suddenly she was in his arms and they were kissing passionately, lips seeking each other out with an intense wanting. It had been too long for both of them to steal a moment together, and neither could resist the other any longer.

He ran his hand under the back of her shirt, untucking the fabric. Their jackets had already been discarded and Riza had made quick work of his undershirt. He needed to feel her, he needed there to be no barrier between them. Riza lifted a hand and took her clip out of her hair, shaking her head and letting her tresses fall loose. Now that clip was out of the way, Roy pulled her shirt off and threw it behind him. "Much better," he grinned and she responded by kissing his smile. He deepened the kiss, wishing he could pull her even closer to him when they were already a tangle of limbs as it was.

He gently unwound himself from her legs and began to take off his uniform pants, the thick fabric hindering his process just a bit. She hopped off the desk and walked over to him, slipping a hand into his boxers. Roy groaned. "Oh come on that's not -ahhhh" he responded as she began to stroke him. "What was that?" Riza grinned. Roy blinked rapidly, trying to ignore her movements and focused on relieving her of the incredibly rude pants she was wearing as well.

"Why do they make these so hard to take off?" he muttered under his breath as he worked on her belt, hands attempting to stop shaking. Riza was not going to go easy on him. She laughed.

"I don't know, it's almost like we're not supposed to have sex at work."

Roy didn't have an argument. Instead of responding, he simply bit his lip and tried to focus. There! Finally the stupid pants were unbuttoned and unzipped. Ahhh, damnit! He hadn't even noticed that between her...ministrations in his boxers and him becoming preoccupied with removing her own pants that he hadn't even finished taking his off.

"Okay, break. Each attend to his own pants and shoes." Riza grinned and gave him a peck on the lips. "Yes, sir." She pulled away from him (Roy immediately regretting the order) and slipped out of her boots and pants.

"How did you do that so quickly?" Roy asked.

"I already had my boots untied."

"Uniform infraction. I'll have to write you up." She laughed and turned away, walking back to his desk and sitting on it.

"Yeah, you do that." After a moment, he struggled out of his boots and pants and nearly tripped over himself to get back to her. Roy took her in his arms. His hands ran down her back from where her bra remained clasped to her buttocks where her underwear remained in place.

"Lieutenant, you still have far too much clothing on."

"Well, I don't want a uniform infraction." Roy looked at her, smiling at him and felt his heart do flips. He would kill for that smile. He returned it with one of his own, a devilish grin set only on making her squirm.

"I'm going to need to remove these articles."

"I figured you would." He leaned in and kissed her along her jaw line, lightly tracing his lips down her neck as he unclasped her bra. She yanked it off and dropped it on the desk next to her. Riza leaned back and placed her hands on the desk, lifting her hips so that Roy could remove the last offending garment. He pulled off her underwear and she dropped her hips back down. He stepped back, admiring her position.

"Don't move," he said, and leaned down, gently trailing kisses along the inside of her left thigh. Riza closed her eyes and groaned, the noise sending shivers down his spine. She was extremely sensitive on her inner thighs, a fact Roy had learned long ago and continued to enjoy to this day. He placed one kiss between her legs and began working up her stomach, leaving kisses all the way up to her breasts (where he paused for special attention paid to the both of them) and then resumed up to her neck.

Roy pulled himself on top of the desk and on top of her, his hands finding the inside of her legs again. His fingers began to work in her, and her eyes opened again, a gasp escaping her mouth. Riza threw her head back, moaning, and Roy bent down, kissing her neck and collarbone.

She closed her eyes as pleasure coursed through her, enjoying the sensation of his fingers and his lips and the way his body curved over her. Riza opened her eyes again, gasping for air. Then she tilted her head, her eyes catching something on the ceiling. Something bright yellow. She knitted her forehead and stared. _'Are those...post-it notes?'_ She narrowed her eyes, focusing her sight on them. Suddenly she realized what was written there and her eyes widened. At the same moment, Roy lighted upon a particularly sensitive area with his fingers and she exhaled sharply at the pleasure while the surprise of what was written above their heads took hold.

"Havoc?!" which of course came out as a gasp and a moan due to Roy's dealings. Roy's fingers halted and he pulled his head away from its teasing at her neck, a wild look in his eyes.

"Excuse me?!" He couldn't believe it. Riza, HIS Riza had been - she looked pissed.

"Look at the ceiling!" That was new. He turned his head and glanced up at the ceiling. There, in post-it notes, bearing Havoc's distinct lettering, lay a message.

 **HOW'S THE VIEW HAWKEYE**

Roy felt all of the blood rush out of his face. His eyes widened. Then the blood rushed back, turning into hot rage.

"I'm gonna _KILL HIM._ " Roy pulled himself off of her and back to standing. Blood was pounding in his ears. He couldn't believe it. It had been over a month since they had been able to be together and his second lieutenant had managed to completely ruin the mood with his antics. And he wasn't even here! "I'm gonna kill him."

Roy picked up his pants and began to get dressed, white hot rage rushing through his veins. He was going to find Havoc, and he was going to light him on fire. No, no, he wouldn't, he was going to punch him and THEN light him on fire, starting with - he felt Riza's hand touch his arm, stopping his forceful clothes changing. He turned and saw her grinning, a devilish gleam in her that he remembered had been there all too often when they were teenagers, pranking her neighbor's kids. He loved that gleam.

"No, we're not going to kill him. We're going to do something much worse." She turned and walked to her purse, picking up her pants along the way. She had put both articles of underwear back on while Roy had rage changed.

"Being lit on fire is pretty terrible, Riza." She shook her head, rummaging through her purse.

"No. Havoc's out with Rebecca tonight. Dancing at a club near where she lives." Roy frowned.

"I won't light Rebecca on fire, I promise." Riza shook her head again. She turned back, a triumphant smile on her face.

"I have a spare key to Rebecca's apartment." Said object dangled from her hand. He stepped over to her, working out her logic.

"And they'll definitely go back to her place since it's closer..." Riza nodded. A grin spread across Roy's face. He wrapped his arms around her and lifted her up as she laughed.

"I love you," he said, looking into her gleaming eyes.

"I know." He set her back down and cupped her chin in one hand, kissing her lips. They stayed for a moment, enjoying and deepening the kiss. Finally he broke away from her.

"Payback time?" She nodded.

"I hear it's a bitch." He paused.

"Just...promise me we'll finish this afterwards." His undershirt hitting his face and the sound of her laugh was her only reply.

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 _A/N There will be a part 2. It will probably be posted either sometime late (LATE) tonight or late tomorrow. Yup, y'all get to see the payback. Please favorite and review!_


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: And here we have the stunning conclusion to Post-It! I hope you enjoy. I own nothing!**_

The door to Rebecca's apartment slammed open, with Jean and Rebecca stumbling in, hands all over each other. "Shhh! I have neighbors!" She said, shutting the door behind them.

Jean rolled his eyes. "Well, your neighbors are gonna have to deal. Because I -" He wrapped his arms around her and lifted her up, pushing her against the now closed door. "Am getting screams out of you." He peppered her neck with kisses, enjoying her squeals of delight. Jean loved getting these noises out of her. He slid his tongue across her collarbone and Rebecca's hands raked at his back. He moved his lips to her mouth and pushed off the door, turning and walking further into her apartment, her body still wrapped tight around his torso.

Rebecca pulled her head up for air. "Don't you dare trip." Jean rolled his eyes.

"I'm not gonna trip! No trust..." He muttered. She ducked her head down to his neck, giving him back the same kisses he had given her at the door, biting his clavicle just enough to illicit a soft moan. He had worn one of her favorite shirts to see him in, a dark blue button down, and Rebecca couldn't wait to get him out of it. She nosed the collar of the shirt open a bit more and continued kissing and sucking at the skin of his shoulder.

Jean walked the two of them into her bedroom and set her down at the edge of the bed. He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her roughly, enjoying the rake of her teeth on his tongue. His hands found the bottom of her shirt and he pulled, the two breaking apart from the kiss long enough for him to tug it over her head, and then their mouths found each other again. Rebecca placed her palms on his chest and pushed him away from her just a step so that she could work on his shirt. She began unbuttoning his shirt, pressing a new kiss to his chest as each button came undone.

Once she had finished, he pulled the shirt the rest of the way off. Rebecca liked his arms and chest, and he knew she would want to see them. She smiled and sat back on the bed, enjoying the view. "Mmm, very good."

Jean raised a cocky eyebrow. "Oh, you like what you see?" Rebecca laughed.

"I won't complain."

"That'd be a first." She rolled her eyes.

"Get the hell over here." She leaned forward and wrapped her index fingers through the belt loops of his jeans, pulling his hips towards her. He let the rest of his body follow, falling forward and catching himself with one hand, while the other hand reached up to run through her thick dark hair. He kissed her deeply, passionately, enjoying the taste of her lips. He bit her bottom lip as he drew away, then placed a kiss on her chin.

Rebecca pushed his chest. "Lay down." He grinned.

"Yes, ma'am." She moved out from under him and he re-positioned himself on the bed, propped up by her pillows. Rebecca kicked off her shoes and then yanked his off as well. Then she unbuttoned his pants and pulled them off, Jean watching her the whole time, shifting his body to aid her. She then moved back onto the bed and straddled him, her skirt cascading over her thighs. Both of them still had their underwear on, but Becky always enjoyed teasing him for as long as she could. She scooted back just enough to where she was sitting more on his thighs, and gently took hold of him through his boxers. The movement caused Jean to sit up and throw his head back, letting out a moan. That was when he saw the ceiling. His eyes widened.

"What the fuck?!" Rebecca stopped her hand and tilted her head to the side.

"Umm, that's a new reaction." He shook his head and kept his eyes on the ceiling, his mouth agape. Rebecca looked up.

 **WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND** was written in blocky lettering on post-it notes on her ceiling. Rebecca screamed.

"What the fuck?!" Her scream snapped Jean out of his momentary trauma and he realized instantly how completely frightening this must be for her. He sat forward and wrapped his arms around his girlfriend, shushing her.

"Hey hey, it's okay! It's okay, this is for me!" Rebecca whipped her head down to look at him.

"What the hell do you mean?! Someone broke into _MY_ apartment and put this message on _MY_ ceiling and it's supposed to be for you?!" Jean bit his lip.

"Uhhh...yeah. It's from Hawkeye and Mustang." Rebecca stared at him and blinked several times in rapid succession.

"Explain. Now." Jean grinned sheepishly and ran a hand through his sandy hair.

"I miiiiight have played a joke on them that involved me leaving a message in post-it notes on the ceiling of his office." She stared. "Above his desk." She pursed her lips. "That said 'How's the view Hawkeye'." Rebecca closed her eyes slowly and evened her breathing. He knew that face. She was quietly counting to ten so that she didn't completely blow up at him. When she spoke next, her words came out slowly, carefully and, dripping with venom.

"Has anyone. Ever told you. That you. Are a _complete_ idiot?" Jean scrunched up his face. _'Shit, she's pissed.'_ Yelling Rebecca was one thing. Eerily calm Rebecca was an entirely different beast.

"Yes, actually, that has been said on several occasions." Rebecca exhaled forcefully.

" _Good_." She rolled off the bed and grabbed her shirt. Jean groaned.

"Becky, baby, come on..."

"Don't you dare 'Becky baby' me right now! That note scared the crap out of me and it is your fault!" Jean raised his hands.

"I didn't know they were going to retaliate like that! Oh man," he said, as realization suddenly dawned on him. "They must have actually been having sex in the office to respond like this."

"Well, I sure hope they finished because you certainly won't." At her words his head snapped up.

"What?!" His shirt and pants collided with his chest.

"Out!" Jean's jaw dropped.

"You're kicking me out?" Rebecca rolled her eyes.

"I'm mad at you! Get out!" Jean scrambled off the bed.

"Come on, babe, don't be like that." She rounded on him. _'Oh shit,'_ was all he had time to think before the storm came.

"You pissed my best friend off so badly that she came into my apartment and left a note for you on. My. Ceiling! A note which managed to scare the crap out of me and ruin sex! You are going to go and apologize to Riza and you are not going to call me until you have done so!" Jean groaned, rolling his head in agitation. He grabbed his shoes and followed her out into her living room as she marched towards the door.

"Are you serious, they're going to kill me if I show my face!" Rebecca turned.

"Well then, Jean Havoc, it was nice knowing you." She opened the door and pushed him into the hall, slamming the door in his face. Jean closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against her door.

"Beckyyy, come ooooooon."

"Go apologize!" came her reply through the wood.

"It's the middle of the night!"

"I don't care!" He groaned again. Then Jean realized he was standing in the hallway, still in his underwear and clutching his clothes. While an old woman across the hall stared at him. Jean forced out a grin.

"And you would be one of the neighbors Becky mentioned. Hello, ma'am." He waved, moving his clothes to cover his crotch. The woman didn't say anything at first but looked him up and down. Then she nodded her head.

"Good to see Rebecca's still got taste." and then the woman's door closed. Jean opened his mouth and closed it. He immediately pulled his pants and shoes on, and made his way down the hall, buttoning his shirt as he walked.

"Okay, Havoc. Time to man up." he muttered to himself.

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A loud knocking on her door woke Riza out of her dreams. She untangled herself from Roy's arms and put on a robe. _'Who in the world would be at the door at this hour?'_ It had to be 4 am. Roy's sleepy voice broke through the air.

"Wazzat? What's..." She shushed him.

"Someone's knocking on the door, I'm checking now. Stay here." She grabbed her pistol before she left the room. Riza crept quietly to her door and peered through the peephole. Once she registered who the disheveled sandy hair belonged to, she needed to put her hand on her mouth in order to keep from laughing. She removed the chain from the door and opened it, then leaned against the frame.

"Second Lieutenant. What could _possibly_ have brought you to my door at this hour?" She said, sarcasm rolling off of every word and a cheeky grin on her face. Jean groaned, sheepishness written all over him.

"Your friend doesn't forgive easily."

"She taught me well. Come in." She turned and walked inside, leaving the door open. Jean followed her, closing the door behind him. Black Hayate came padding up and looked at him. Jean gave his head a quick pat, then stood at attention when Roy walked in the room.

"Sir."

"At ease. To what do we owe the pleasure?" Roy was clearly amused. Riza leaned against the wall, her arms crossed, one eyebrow raised in expectation. Jean sighed.

"I'm sorry I pranked you by putting post-it notes on the ceiling of your office implying that Hawkeye might be in a compromising position." Roy smiled.

"Exactly how pissed is Rebecca?"

"She threw me out into the hallway while I was still only wearing underwear. I'm pretty sure I got eye fucked by her neighbor." Riza bit the inside of her mouth in order to keep from laughing, but Roy lost it completely.

"Excellent. Apology accepted, then."

Jean knitted his forehead.

"Seriously? I expected to be lit on fire."

Roy shook his head.

"Rebecca's wrath is far more terrifying than any flames I could ever produce."

Jean closed his eyes.

"Tell me about it." He looked at Riza.

"I'm sorry, Hawkeye. I really am."

She gave him a tiny smile.

"I know. You realize that the note we left was only a catalyst and that Rebecca's anger was the real punishment?"

"I figured. How did you know she'd react so badly?" Riza laughed.

"She's been my best friend for a long time, Havoc. She goes from 0-100 very quickly. Also, we used to be roommates, and I have seen what she is like when sex is interrupted."

"Will you please call her and tell her I apologized?" Riza shook her head.

"Go home, Havoc. I'll call her in the morning." Jean sighed.

"Please? I know she's still awake." Roy shook his head this time.

"No, Havoc. Want to know why? Because the Lieutenant lied. Your punishment was not Rebecca's anger." Jean frowned.

"Then what..."

A smile spread across Roy's face.

"Your punishment is the knowledge that we got laid tonight despite your interruptions, and that you didn't because of ours."

Jean's face dropped completely.

"That's low, Boss. That's low."

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 _A/N: Aaaaaaand there you have it. Revenge is best served...cockblocked. You guys have no idea how hard it was to not have Rebecca say "bros before hoes" before she shoved Jean into the hallway. And rest assured, Riza will also be getting an earful when she calls her in the morning. What I'm saying is I love Rebecca Catalina so freaking much. Anyway! Thank you to everyone who reviewed and favorited and followed, you are all beautiful and I love you!_


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